I haven't been the "new guy" very often in my life. I lived in the same city until going away to college and have lived in Tucson since then with many of the same friends when I was single and married.
In the few weeks we've been away from home, it's made me realize how important it is to stop and be friendly. Even if you think you have nothing in common with a person you meet, maybe they just need someone to talk to. That sounds like we've been over here crying in our apartment because we're so lonely, which isn't true, but the people who have welcomed us I've been so grateful for.
Our first week here was rough as we got settled: sick kids, driving back and forth to Boston to figure out our rental car, adjusting bedtimes and naps to time changes and a few cold and rainy days. When we left for church that first Sunday I prayed that we would find friends--someone to talk to and someone for our kids to play with.
We met several families who were also working at the hospital. Some were attending doctors who had been in Portland for years and others had moved there recently for residency. When one family invited us over for dinner that night, I was so relieved! It was nice that we did have some things in common, but I wouldn't have cared if it had been otherwise.
Birch's sister was also so helpful when we first arrived. She picked us up from the airport in Boston and took us to her house where a hot dinner was ready. We borrowed her car for that night until our rental was ready and she sent us away with a bag of breakfast food for the morning and snacks for the kids. We didn't tell her what we needed and she didn't ask--she just decided to help.
I hope that I can be better about welcoming people and inviting them to do things without worrying about details. I usually run through my list of excuses: we have kids and they don't, our kids aren't the same age or gender, the food I made isn't my best, our house isn't clean enough to have people over, etc. And if I see someone who could use some help I have excuses for that too--usually wondering if what I have to offer isn't what they really need.
Now I can see that these things don't matter. Even though the gestures were helpful to us, I mostly appreciated people taking time from their "busy" lives to think about someone else.
3 comments:
How true that is. Some of my most cherished friendships are with people that I made similar excuses to when first meeting them. I never would have thought we had anything in common or maybe we dont have kids the same age, but luckily I was willing to extend my hand in friendship anyways and am grateful that I did. I think so often we get comfortable in our own world and forget to see things through someone else's. Thanks for the post. We can all use a little reminder of this.
Very true, I'm glad you've had some nice people around to help make you guys comfortable while there. I've always had a hard time reaching out to others, but I try to do it knowing that some of my best friends were made when I just struck up a conversation with someone I had never met before.
I think you are already so good at this. I am always amazed by the little acts of love and kindness that you show to me and my family. I'm glad that you are in the receiving end this time. I have definitely been very much centered around my own family and lately, I have wanted to reach out for others. Maybe it is the holiday season or maybe just realizing how blessed I am, either way your post will inspire me to look out for opportunities to serve others and love them.
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