Last week I took both kids to the pediatrician for Haley's 4-month check-up. After we finished talking about her I asked the doctor about the noise Trevor makes. Whenever he's concentrating on something he makes this droning sound (ehhhhh!) I know if you've sat anywhere near us during church you've heard it.The doctor said the noise is probably a way to soothe himself and asked if hyperactivity runs in my family. What?!? She had noticed Trevor doing a lot of "non-purposeful movement" during our visit and thought the noise may be related to a higher energy level.
She did acknowledge that he had been waiting in a doctor's office for more than 20 minutes. But when she made a final observation that he didn't speak very clearly my jaw dropped. I know my kid isn't perfect but if there's one thing he can do, it's talk! In the last few weeks he's started playing with words so maybe she heard him saying some of his made-up words.
The part that bothers me the most is that her comments have changed my perspective. Now when he throws a tantrum, instead of thinking "He's 2, he'll get over this," I think: "My child might be hyperactive and I'll be dealing with this for YEARS!"
It's been a year since Trevor saw a pediatrician so I set up an appointment for him next week. We'll see how it goes. I just switched to this office and I've been really happy so far. I hope that a visit just for him will allow me to talk about his whole personality, give the doctor a better understanding and me some relief.
In the last few weeks I have been a little worried about him. I had to leave Enrichment early last week because Trevor wouldn't stop crying in the nursery. After an hour I decided he wouldn't get over it and I didn't want to torture the baby-sitters any more. Being left really scares him. Even when we're driving to a friend's house that he's been to a million times, he'll still get nervous and ask if we're going to stay or not. There are other social issues with him that I worry about but aren't most 2-year-olds a bit socially awkward? Or if being social isnt' a problem, don't you worry about your child's sleep, eating, ANYTHING?
I just wish I had someone who could give me an unbiased opinion of how Trevor behaves. I guess that's what a pediatrician should be but already I've pitted her against me. I hope that in a few years I'll laugh that I was even worried.
10 comments:
I think the abandonment issues are really normal at 2. It goes in phases, they are totally independent and then they get all clingy for a few months. I think it has something to do with little fear compensating for their new found ability to go places on their own – keeping them from getting lost.
Collin has ADHD so there is definitely some in the family. As for the speech Peter had a bunch of delays, got early intervention and is now a four year old reading at a first grade level. If the doctor thinks there are problems get him tested. If there is a problem you can catch it early if there isn't then you can relax!
Hey Camille! I heard through the DW grapevine that you had a blog, and was so happy to find it and be able to catch up on your latest in life. My little Reese is now 3, and she had almost the exact issues with being left up until the time when she was almost 3.5. We could never leave her in the nursery at church, because she would scream the ENTIRE time. Last year I taught two days per week, and she would stay with a dear family friend who she knew and loved, yet she would still randomly cry sometimes when I would drop her off (and this went on the entire school year). She's getting much better now as she gets older, but at times she will still get very nervous when we're going somewhere and cry, "Mom, please don't leave without me!"
It could be just a phase with Trevor, or it could just be the kid that he is. I'm sure it will get a bit better with time. I always just look at it that I'm lucky my kid loves me enough to want to be with me so often.
I'm glad to read how well you're doing. We also have new babies almost the exact same age. My little Blake was born 5/28. Congrats on your beautiful family.
Oh. My. Heck!!!!
I think Trevor is just a regular toddler. Aeden doesn't pronouce things well all the time either.
Aeden usually doesn't have a problem with us leaving him, but if I'm around he usually wants me.
FYI- The one thing I've heard about speach though is that you shouldn't correct your child when they pronounce something wrong. Just when you say it make sure your pronouncing it correctly. Maybe making it even more clear where they might not prounouce it right. I've heard if you correct them it could cause them to be self conscious of how they talk and could result in them not wanting to talk. Something like that anyways. Shay's almost 5 and she still doesn't say her R's very well, but as I've noticed this about Shay I've noticed that other kids her age have problems with certain letters. They'll eventually grow out of it. Or they'll be REALLY COOL like me and have to go to speach class. Which although it may make me sound like a loser.... I liked it!
Ummm...so as you can see I posted and then deleted it because it didnt make sense.:) What I was trying to say is Trevor sounds normal to me! Gracie pronounces words differently but as she is getting older they are morphing into more correct pronounciations. Maybe some kids DON'T have attachment issues, but some kids do and I think it is totally normal. I couldn't leave Gracie in nursury until she was 2.5! I thought it would never happen.
I wouldn't worry at all about the abandonment issue. Completely normal for that age. Natalie went through it really bad at about 2 1/2 years old--right after Kelton was born. As for the other stuff, he sounds normal to me. Boys don't usually grasp language as quickly as girls, and he is still pretty young. What I would do--go to his next appointment, and if you aren't happy with what the doctor says, take him to another pediatrician and see what that doctor thinks before you worry about it too much. I've found that pediatricians can sometimes pick one childhood issue and go crazy on it with everyone. Our pediatrician's "thing" is childhood obesity.
Riley went through this also. He screamed and hung on us when we dropped him at preschool at 2 1/2. This lasted until oh,.... this school year. He now loves school and feels very safe there. He allows us to leave him places without crying now. I thought the day would never come!
I don't think Trevor sounds like a child with ADHD. I think he sounds perfectly normal for a 2 year old boy.
The singing on the blog is adorable!!
I was the most hyperactive kid there ever was and I turned out alright....right??? Labeling a kid ADHD or hyperactive just gives the kid an excuse to act up and the parents an excuse to fill them full of drugs and let them act up. Trevor is normal and you should not let anyone convince otherwise. When you start treating him different because he is "special" then you will start to have problems.
This diagnosis has been brought to you free of charge from a future CPA, recovering hyperactive child, and clueless new dad.
Sincerely your favorite brother in-law,
Kai
For whatever my 2 cents is worth, I think that ADHD is EXTREMELY overdiagnosed and is kind of the easy diagnosis that people like to slap on kids. I'd look at it more as him being 2. :) Pray or fast about it....that's going to be my new answer for everything because I feel like there are too many opinions/ideas out there and it all overwhelms me. I figure Heavenly Father knows best!!
Here's my 2 cents...:) The attachement issue is totally a phase...Kenzie goes through it seriously about every 9 months! Some kids are more hyperactive than others and it's totally normal. Don't worry about his speach at all...at his age, if he is mostly understandable, he's doing great. But seriously, trust your instinct...you're the mom and you know him best!
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